"Well, good night!"

It’s been an okay eating week. Not great but certainly not like it has been. I’ve been working on portion control and have done okay. One thing I realized is that I have to keep my Disneyworld trip at the forefront of my thoughts. It’s almost as if I have to ask myself “Will this decision help me prepare for Disney or hinder me?” Beth (my therapist) thinks this is a good idea too. It also helps with motivation. I also have begun wearing my Mickey Mouse ring again as a reminder (see picture below). I know I have the FitBit that could work as a reminder but it doesn’t scream Disneyworld as much as Mickey.

There’s only one week left of school (thank goodness) and Beth agreed with me when I said I need to have a schedule set for my summer days. The goal is to NOT gain weight this summer (preferably to lose weight) so I will be setting the silent alarm on my FitBit to go off hourly to remind myself to get up and move. I’ll probably just start with short trips around my apartment (followed by Joey the cat who acts like a dog sometimes) but I really need to move outdoors for the Vitamin D which I lack (thus one of the reasons why I broke both my feet). I take a supplement but sun would be helpful.

It won’t be a do nothing summer. I am taking my first grad class towards my ESL endorsement and they’ll be stuff to do in preparation for my book being released on July 21^st. I also want to finish my superhero book too. The goal is to use my desk for all that and not just park it on the couch (which is very tempting because I love my couch). And also not to get sucked into Netflix (except for the new season of Orange is the New Black but I should be able to knock that out in a day or two). I was going to say I wouldn’t be doing any Netflix and chilling but I learned a couple weeks ago what Netflix and chill really means. As my grandmother would have exclaimed - "Well, good night!" 

I also need to do something Disney-ish every day. Part of it is for motivation but the other part has to do with desensitizing myself in time for my trip so I don’t end up a sobbing mess on Main Street in the Magic Kingdom. Like I said in my last blog (I think I said this), I did a lot of crying last weekend as I began to make my plans and still have moments of being on the edge of a complete breakdown as I think of the trip. I have a lot of memories when it comes to Disneyworld; it’s a special place for me. I’m sure there will be moments where I’ll mist up but the goal is not to become the sobbing mess. So each day I need to do something in preparation for the trip. I’ve already planned my meals but I can always change those. I can plan what I’m going to do in each park. I can read up on reviews, stuff like that. One would think so much wouldn’t be needed for the trip but this trip will mean a lot to me. I really do have a lot riding on this.

I feel that at my age, this is probably the last chance I have to lose a chunk of weight. If I fail this task, it’s like this is just the way my body is going to be and life becomes one of managing the side effects of the weight and it is what it is. Does that make sense? I’ll be 45 in October and am in the downward slide of my life. Time is running out and this trip may be my last chance to go but I have to be in better health for it.

Dana