Yesterday’s blog was not an
upbeat one in case you didn’t notice. I should explain. I went down for a nap
yesterday afternoon and when I woke up, I was in a funk. My mood had dropped
while I slept. For someone who has dealt with severe depression (and for weeks
at a time), waking up in a funk is always a scary feeling. Is this the
beginning of a multi-week episode or is it just a day or two of being down?
The funk and trying to lose
weight do not co-exist easily. I look at my numbers and am hating myself
because I’m back under five pounds. Ten pounds feels impossible now. Despite
walking today, I feel like a failure. Breakfast was a protein bar and a mocha
latte but lunch was a beef and cheddar. I feel like dinner but don’t know if I
deserve it. Eating is such an emotional activity sometimes.
Dana :/
Numbers
Weight: 396.8 (up 1.6, down 4.2 total since starting)
Out of Bed Blood Sugar: 115 (good)
Before Lunch Blood Sugar: forgot
Before Dinner (let’s call this the 5ish PM check, now) Blood
Sugar: 101 (good)
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